Great Moments In Irony!

Sheriff Joe is at it again!

You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona ,

who painted the jail cells pink and made the

inmates wear pink prison garb. Well..........



SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!

Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!

Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million

dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and

dogs.. Sheriff Joe offered to take the

department over, and the County Supervisors said

okay.

The animal shelters are now all staffed and

operated by prisoners. They feed and care for

the strays. Every animal in his care is taken

out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners

who are experts in animal nutrition and

behavior. They give great classes for anyone

who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally

taken stray dogs off the street, given them to

the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog

shows.

The best part? His budget for the entire

department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I

adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County

shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and

current on all shots, in great health, and even

had a microchip inserted the day we got him.

Cost us $78.

The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an

hour for working, but most would work for free,

just to be out of their cells for the day. Most

of his budget is for utilities, building

maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of

the fees collected for adopted animals.

I have long wondered when the rest of the

country would take a look at the way he runs the

jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has

a huge farm, donated to the county years ago,

where inmates can work, and they grow most of

their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all

the work and harvesting by hand..

He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which

provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the

Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work,

and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 -

$8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have

six trees in our yard from the Prison.

Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the

vote.

Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He

painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural,

that has a special hotline phone number painted

on it, where you can call and report suspected

illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs

Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so

he had 40 deputies trained specifically for

enforcing immigration laws, started up his

hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling

folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R

Dun' kind of S heriff.

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO

HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER

THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the

' Tent City Jail':

He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and

charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the

jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but

'G' movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do

free work on county and city projects.

Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He

Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination.

He took away cable TV Until he found out there

was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV

For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again .

Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather

Channel.

When asked why the weather channel He Replied,

So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While

They Are Working ON My Chain Gangs.

He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional

Value.

When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This

Isn't The Ritz/Carlton...... If You Don't Like

It, Don't Come Back.'



More On The Arizona Sheriff:

With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual

In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record),

the Associated Press Reports:

About 2,000 Inmates Living In A

Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The

Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission

To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink

Boxer Shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers

were either curled up on their bunk beds or

chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees

Inside The Week Before.

Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As

Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down

To Their PINK SOCKS.

'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James

Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for

1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created

the tent city and long ago started making his

prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches,

is not one bit sympathetic.. He said Wednesday

that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120

Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In

Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle

Gear,

But They Didn't Commit Any Crimes,So Shut Your

Mouths!'

Way To Go, Sheriff!

Maybe if all prisons were like this one there

would be a lot less crime and/or repeat

offenders. Criminals should be punished for

their crimes - not live in luxury until it's

time for their parole, only to go out and commit

another crime so they can get back in to live on

taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't

afford to have for themselves.

I like this guy! I hope he runs for President!

:)

Keep Him Out!

Chris Brown has postponed the European leg of his current tour after he was denied entry into the U.K.

Brown was due to bring his "Fan Appreciation Tour" to Europe but he's been forced to call off the dates after British immigration officials refused to grant him a work visa.

It is believed Brown's application was rejected due to a conviction as a result of an altercation with then-girlfriend Rihanna last year. The singer was sentenced to six months of community labor, five years of probation, and ordered to stay away from the "Umbrella" hitmaker after pleading guilty to felony assault.

Chris Brown yells at radio DJ for not playing his songs. Chris Brown upset fans in Richmond, Va., on Thursday by aiming a foul-mouthed rant at a radio presenter and walking out of an interview.

The singer has been attempting to rebuild his career after he was convicted of assaulting his ex-girlfriend Rihanna last year, but he marred a promotional appearance on Q94 WRVQ by swearing at host Kash and accusing the DJ of failing to play his records.

Kash played the pre-recorded interview back to listeners, and explained his surprise when Brown began shouting at him for no reason.

Can you say ASS-HOLE? Does he think we owe him something? He is a woman beater and a liar and pompous ass-hole!!! Sorry, but it needed to be said.

New Immigrants

ORANGE COUNTY ( CALIFORNIA ) NEWSPAPER-New Immigrants
This is a very good letter to the editor. This woman made some good points..
For some reason, people have difficulty structuring their arguments when arguing against supporting the currently proposed immigration revisions. This lady made the argument pretty simple. NOT printed in theOrange County Paper ..................


Newspapers simply won't publish letters to the editor which they either deem politically incorrect (read below) or which does not agree with the philosophy they're pushing on the public. This woman wrote a great letter to the editor that should have been published; but, with your help it will get published via cyberspace!




From: "David LaBonte"
My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to "print" it myself by sending it out on the Internet. Pass it along if you feel so inclined. Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in theOrange County Register :


Dear Editor:
So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.


Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the
United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a
long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.



They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their
children a new life and did everything in their power to
help their children assimilate into one culture. Nothing was
handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws
to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity.


Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side men whose parents had come
straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought
about what country their parents had come from. They were
Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of
Japan . They were defending the United States of America as
one people.


When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up
another country's flag and waving it to represent who they
were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had
sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew
what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting
pot into one red, white and blue bowl.



And here we are with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by
playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the
entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their
mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American
is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on
Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that
for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future
generations to create a land that has become a beacon for
those legally searching for a better life. I think they
would be appalled that they are being used as an example by
those waving foreign country flags.


And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty , it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about
dismantling the United States just yet.



(signed)
Rosemary LaBonte


KEEP THIS LETTER MOVING. FOR THE WRONG THINGS TO PREVAIL THE RIGHTFUL MAJORITY NEEDS TO REMAIN COMPLACENT AND QUIET!!



LET THIS NEVER HAPPEN!!


I sincerely hope this letter gets read by millions of people
all across the nation!!

My Dog

I went down this morning to sign up my Dog for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare". So I explained to her that my Dog is mix in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is. He expects me to feed him, provide him with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because he is a dog.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My Dog gets his first check Friday.

Damn is this a great country or what?

Don't Forget Americans

Cell phone numbers go public this month. All cell phone numbers will be released to telemarketing companies. To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222. It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It blocks your number for 5 years. You must call from the Phone you want to have these calls blocked from.

For Whiney Women! Must Watch!

Japenese Knickers

What you see below
are not see-thru skirts.


They are actually prints on the skirts
to make it look as if the pants are visible

And these are the current rage in Japan ..







I forward this as a public service, so you won't have a heart attack when the rage reaches here.

Iceland volcanic ash affects Boston flights

A volcanic eruption in Iceland is affecting flights in Boston.

Ash from the eruption has grounded planes on a scale not seen in the U.S. since the September 11 terrorist attacks.

So far, thousands of flights have been cancelled, including some in Boston. About half of all trans-Atlantic flights will be cancelled on Friday, and it could take days before the skies are safe to fly again.

I suppose they could be being careful or there is something up their sleeves. Hmmmmmmm

Happy Easter!

Clean Hair?

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady
at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:
"What's threatening about a co-worker
telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith. The midget."

Eating shit!

An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man

drinking from his pond, with his hand.

The Amish man shouts: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen

haben dahin gesheissen.'


(Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.')

The man shouts back: 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your

gibberish.. Speak English, infidel!'

The Amish man says: 'Use two hands, you'll get more!!'

Sleeping Around, You'll be found out!!!

It's ALWAYS the kids that suffer.

His name is Zonkey

Mermaids VS Whales

Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.



To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)

They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CD's.

They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex?

Just look at them ... where is IT?

Therefore, they don't have kids either.

Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P. S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room,

it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, When I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

COULD ANYONE BE THIS DUMB?

A Washington DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of 'WHY' our country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa.''
His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did.
I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
I pulled up the reservation I noticed he had only a 1 hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant.
To which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu, Louisiana Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations.
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of he town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' he replied.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
He then retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.

Like manure, you just gotta spread it around!

Things That Go Peep in the Night

I am reminded this windy March morning that

waiting for spring to come is probably the

greatest test of my patience. With the imminent

arrival of the vernal equinox, I am constantly

looking for signs of spring.

We have two ponds, one man made and one vernal

pond at the front side of our house close to the

road. It lays at the bottom of a slightly steep

hill. Frogs are the best predictors of spring.

"Mark my words," "When you hear the peepers

twice and they're froze back, the third time,

spring will be here to stay."

So, with feet aching to shed shoes and the other

bonds of winter, I listen for peepers.

Usually they make their first concert sometime

in March, about this time of year. A warm few

days, with nights above freezing, will bring out

the chorus of the early, timid choir. It usually

begins a few hours before sunset and only until the evening's chill run the peepers back

into the warm mud. After a couple of evenings of

serenading us, a cold snap -- maybe even a late

March snow -- would freeze them back the first

time.

The next appearance will be more robust. Usually

in early April, when the more daring members of

the choir will sing later into the evening. But

then if we get a hard freeze the peeping and

croaking goes back to muddy silence.

Soooooo, three times peeping, then spring!!!! :) xxxxxxxx

Who knew?

The quake that rocked the South American nation may have also knocked the Earth off its axis.

The 8.8-magnitude earthquake near Chile may have also made our planet's days shorter, according to NASA scientist Richard Gross.

A minor change in the Earth’s axis isn't expected to alter much in terms of weather. The planet's tilt influences the seasons, allowing for winter, spring, summer and fall, and it would take a far greater change in the Earth's axis to affect them.

The Chile quake may have moved the Earth’s axis by about 3 inches, Gross said.

The quake also shortened the day by 1.26 microseconds, the scientist determined, using a complex model he and others developed.

The Earth's rotation was likely affected by the shift in the planet's mass, which could cause it to spin faster.

Scientists believe other quakes, such as the 2004 9.1-magnitude earthquake in Sumatra, have also decreased the Earth's day. That quake is believed to have shortened it by 6.8 microseconds, and altered the axis by nearly 7 inches.

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Electirc Lawn-Mower Recall!!!